Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Top 10 Reasons to wake up at 6AM
Normally I enjoy sleep like any other person, but somehow I agreed to be a part of some meeting at 8am on campus. My car had not been working for the past 4 days so I was planning on taking the bus to school, out of pure curiosity I tried starting my car which decided it would work. Now I haven't used the bus system here yet so I left at 645 and made it to campus at 7.
So I discovered the first reason to wake up at 6:
10. The joy of cheap bad quality gas station coffee vs. expensive bad quality coffee shop coffee.
While enjoying my caffeine enema I perused the internet in search of my various web comics, hence:
9. Existential, political, and otherwise pointless gag web-comics.
I made it to the meeting, which turned out to concern the student government position I was unanimously elected to. I'm going to be honest; I don't have the cognitive capacity to lead. I make a much better side-kick or evil henchman than a superhero. Hence this position seemed to be made for me. The "Outcomes" position isn't in the student bi-laws, the only two people before me to have the position attend very few meetings, etc. etc. What this means is that I can do whatever the hell I want as long as I can relate it to some sort of outcome and my class. The possibilities are endless.
8. Learning that you unspecified student government position has unlimited power.
Then I realized that I can do whatever I want to anyway, but lack the gumption to do it. Like world domination, WAY to much of a hassle. I'm too busy for even small-time crimes these days.
7. Learning that you are too lazy for world domination.
The meeting went well. I learned that my position is to aid in assessing information related to how my class (and others before us) compare to other schools, how class grade turnout went, etc. (example: the trend of pass/fail on the Physical Therapy license exam).
6. Learning what the hell your position is even about.
After the meeting the Outcome in the class ahead of me told me about the tests he was taking and how finals were for a second year.
5. Learning that taking tests during finals week sucks for everyone.
No one wins during finals, no one. It is a lose-lose situations. Professors have to make the final, which involves trying to make it cover all the "right" information, making it "fair," and then dealing with the slew of bullshit from students that some of the "unfair" questions generate. The students have to deal with the professor’s bullshit and accept their fate. Then the professor has to grade the thing, so if it involves essays, they have to read it 67 times.
4. Hoping to God that my essay answers blur with the rest of them and out of sheer apathy from having to read all of the essays, the professor gives me full credit.
After talking to the 2nd year Outcome I wandered over to the library and tried to call a friend. His answering machine merely says: "Hello? ... Hello? ... beep"
3. Swearing like a sailor at 8am into a cell phone about how that message really sucks.
I also noticed two things after:
2. See a pack of campus squirrels run across the main field chasing the lead squirrel who has a cracker in his mouth. A pack of squirrels, not two, but about 5 of them.
1. Hearing "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" blaring out of the student center speakers that early in the morning.
So I discovered the first reason to wake up at 6:
10. The joy of cheap bad quality gas station coffee vs. expensive bad quality coffee shop coffee.
While enjoying my caffeine enema I perused the internet in search of my various web comics, hence:
9. Existential, political, and otherwise pointless gag web-comics.
I made it to the meeting, which turned out to concern the student government position I was unanimously elected to. I'm going to be honest; I don't have the cognitive capacity to lead. I make a much better side-kick or evil henchman than a superhero. Hence this position seemed to be made for me. The "Outcomes" position isn't in the student bi-laws, the only two people before me to have the position attend very few meetings, etc. etc. What this means is that I can do whatever the hell I want as long as I can relate it to some sort of outcome and my class. The possibilities are endless.
8. Learning that you unspecified student government position has unlimited power.
Then I realized that I can do whatever I want to anyway, but lack the gumption to do it. Like world domination, WAY to much of a hassle. I'm too busy for even small-time crimes these days.
7. Learning that you are too lazy for world domination.
The meeting went well. I learned that my position is to aid in assessing information related to how my class (and others before us) compare to other schools, how class grade turnout went, etc. (example: the trend of pass/fail on the Physical Therapy license exam).
6. Learning what the hell your position is even about.
After the meeting the Outcome in the class ahead of me told me about the tests he was taking and how finals were for a second year.
5. Learning that taking tests during finals week sucks for everyone.
No one wins during finals, no one. It is a lose-lose situations. Professors have to make the final, which involves trying to make it cover all the "right" information, making it "fair," and then dealing with the slew of bullshit from students that some of the "unfair" questions generate. The students have to deal with the professor’s bullshit and accept their fate. Then the professor has to grade the thing, so if it involves essays, they have to read it 67 times.
4. Hoping to God that my essay answers blur with the rest of them and out of sheer apathy from having to read all of the essays, the professor gives me full credit.
After talking to the 2nd year Outcome I wandered over to the library and tried to call a friend. His answering machine merely says: "Hello? ... Hello? ... beep"
3. Swearing like a sailor at 8am into a cell phone about how that message really sucks.
I also noticed two things after:
2. See a pack of campus squirrels run across the main field chasing the lead squirrel who has a cracker in his mouth. A pack of squirrels, not two, but about 5 of them.
1. Hearing "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" blaring out of the student center speakers that early in the morning.
