Monday, April 11, 2005
The Art of Ruining an Asshole's Day
Normally I would like to think that I am a patient individual, capable of putting up with nonesense and annoying behaviors, but this isn't always the case. Take this morning for example. The blizzard that swept Denver failed to cancel school so I was understandably grumpy at the snow god this morning. Driving along a 5 lane road (you know, turn lane in the center TWO whole lanes for either direction) I was going 50 in a 45. No one is around me, there are no cars in front of me and none to my right side. Yes I was in the left lane but I find that no one in Denver uses their turn signal so I avoid the people in the right lane by staying in the left. That aside this blue SUV pulls up behind me and starts riding my ass. Now my next actions are, in fact, those of a cruel bastard. However, I hope you will understand that tailgating someone is really mean, unless you know the guy in front of you, then its funny. So I break-checked him, did a little sudden tap on the breaks (there was a squirrel in the road or you know something) to let him know I don't tolerate assholes. He immediately pulled to the right (didn't use his blinker I might add) and rolled down his window. He was leaning halfway out of his car, middle finger flying high and yelling at me. I took one look at him and realized I could count the number of teeth he hand on one hand. I proceeded to point at him and laughed. I also locked my doors because we came up next to a red light, you never know when some crazy toothless bastard is going to jump from his car and attempt to beat you senseless for break-checking him. He was a car ahead of me but proceeded to turn around and yell at me (I couldn't hear him, U2 was playing) with both middle fingers held high. I waved and did the hang-loose thing where you put your thumb and pinky out and wave it (I mean how can you get mad at a guy who justs wants to hang-loose?). The guy drove off and then proceeded to cut people off and almost drive one guy off the road to get ahead of him.
The moral of the story kids is that sometimes you have to be put in your place and humbly accept it. If someone break-checks me I hope I have the humility to accept the fact that I was being an jerk, like that toothless shit-for-brains.
The moral of the story kids is that sometimes you have to be put in your place and humbly accept it. If someone break-checks me I hope I have the humility to accept the fact that I was being an jerk, like that toothless shit-for-brains.
